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Updated: 03:10 p.m. EST (2010 GMT) -- 6 April 2002

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After months of intense fighting and suicide bombing in Israel, President Bush and Blair have come up with a new strategy for calming tensions in the middle east.

"Now y'all listen to my plan here!" Bush said after doing a line of coke, "if there's one thing that'll scare the pants off of these here Jubejubes, it's a second Hitler.  Just like any movie, the sequel is always worse than the original.  So starting tomorrow we'll be sending our tanks into Israel to rape and pillage every city, set up concentration camps, and destroy all who are not of the Aryan race.  Then they'll remember what a REAL war of hate is like, isn't that right Mr. Himmler?"

Blair stood and faced the press "ZEIG HEIL!"


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 ON THE SCENE   
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 VIDEO FROM THE CRISIS IN THE MIDEAST
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Jeremy Toma attempts to suicide bomb cafe, sleeps in til 3pm
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Billy the Kid travels through time to arrive in Palestine where he is beaten for being a koko sorcerer

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    Do you frequently suffer the debilitating effects of koko?

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    denotes koko



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