A new video of Osama bin Laden and his top lieutenant Ayman al-Zawahiri was broadcast by the Arab News Network.  In it Osama quotes the Koran saying "It is the duty of all in Islam to play the most horrible practical joke on the unbelievers.".  He goes on to say "Allah wants you to write the most diabolical comedy ever, one that starts with your AK47 and ends with a river of blood". 

When asked for a response, US President George W. Bush said, "I can see where he's coming from.  I was in the reserves and we played the worst joke on those Vietnamese.  Looking back I think they're all laughing now, so I think we should take a wait and see approach on this one."
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As the US economy continues to wane, US President George W. Bush unleashed his economic recovery package Friday.  Starting on midnight on July 30th, all forests in North America will be lit creating thousands of jobs for US firefighters and  employees for the animal burn unit.